Body Language: What It Tells Others

7% of what we communicate to others is verbal - the other 93% is communicated through our body language or body messaging. In this two-part post I will explore the concept of body language and how you can use it to communicate with others while figuring out what others are communicating to you.

Part I - The Non-verbal Language of Humans - What Your Body Says Matters!

Standing, sitting, posture, posing, facial expressions, eye movement, hand gestures, are all parts of how we communicate with each other on a daily basis.  Much of what you communicate and have communicated to you be it with the store clerk, waitperson, co-workers, clients, friends, family, superiors, are all dictated by body language - your's and their's.

Worst Body Messages You Can Send:

- Avoiding Eye Contact: signals deception or lack of openness and concealment.
- Slouching: shows lack of self-confidence and poor self-esteem.
- Weak Handshake: demonstrates a lack of authority and shows submissiveness. Too firm a shake or too long a shake can be interpreted as aggression and lack of confidence.
- Folding Arms: indicates dis-interest and shutting down, a defensive posture.
- Looking Down: saps all the power out of your persona and makes you look weak.
- Angling Body Away From Others: shows dis-comfort and dis-trust of who you are communicating with.
- Fidgeting & Touching Hair: in men or women reveals a discomfort or anxiety and lack of self-esteem and confidence.
- Invading Others Space: 18" is as close as you want to get closer than that and most N. Americans feel uncomfortable.
-Frowning & Scowling: the most common no-no and the most used of all body language as these facial gestures are unconscious reactions showing unhappiness or disagreement.

Over the next several days be aware of the above and see how often these body messaging indicators are used by yourself and others around you.  Then, start to communicate with others by consciously not doing the above while 'listening' to what others are telling you.

In Part II of this post I will be discussing the cross-cultural aspects of body messaging and what may be socially accepted in one country would be totally abhorred in another.

Jim Lavorato